Corlissa is a 33 year old mother of three who lives with her husband and their three children in the North West of Singapore. She comes across as a cheerful and sporting young woman with a delightful smile. Here’s her story…
When did you decide to be a stay-at-home mum?
It was when we were expecting our first child.
What were some of the thought processes behind that decision?
Actually, my husband and I had already talked about this prior to getting married… we agreed that it is important that children have a constant care-giver in the home in their growing years. While I do not believe that the children are the centre of my universe, I am committed to caring and supporting them. In addition, I personally would find it very challenging to work outside the home and take care of the children at the same time, I am not sure if I could manage that!
Have there been any intentional life choices that you (and your husband) have made for the family? How has that been working out for all of you?
Prior to getting married, we decided to find an affordable place to live in, having borne in mind that we would most likely have only one income. Having grown up in the condo-environment, being in the heartlands has been an enriching immersion experience for me.
Our children are also not enrolled in any enrichment classes. This has enabled us to free up finances and time to meet up with friends, visit church family, elderly relatives, and have more family time.
What do family devotions look like in your household?
We would usually watch a video, read the Bible, pray… Currently, we are praying for the unreached. Sometimes one of the children will say a prayer too. It’s the child-like faith which is very encouraging.
Are you connected to other mothers like yourself for support and mutual encouragement?
It does get lonely sometimes without having regular adult conversations. We have a church mum’s group meeting, mostly on zoom, and I do chat with my neighbours now and again.
What do you do for self-care?
Coffee… I go to my favourite coffee joint to grab an Iced Latte after the kids are dropped off at school. I’m grateful for my dad who helps to pick them up about twice a week and takes them out for some outdoor time. I also keep a journal and take naps when I am tired.
Can you share a portion of Scripture that you have always turned to on this journey of motherhood?
John 10:27 “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.”
It reminds me of keeping healthy communication practices with my kids. They are disciples too and I often reflect on what I can do to facilitate and encourage their obedience to Christ.
What are some of the biggest challenges in this season of life?
I worry about the times when I scold my children, and they have to witness my hot-temperedness. I feel guilty and dwell on it, wondering if they would want to follow Christ given my poor example.
Do you have any encouragement for other mothers with young children?
Jim Elliot: “God’s work done in God’s ways will never lack its resources.”
What is the one thing that you would like your children to remember about you?
That I’m a sinful mum who trusted in the words and actions of a wonderful Saviour who is worth following.
It is indeed encouraging to hear about Corlissa and her husband’s conviction, that during their courtship days, they had already been resolute about where God was leading them, and their choices are a testament to that. Such is intentional and wise living. Having to stay on track and be focused on care-giving for three young children is no easy task. It is easy to get side-tracked by the pressure to find self-fulfilment outside the home, amongst other distractions.
Corlissa also brought up a type of mother’s guilt that many mothers face. We are worried that the display of our sinfulness is a bad testimony in the eyes of our children. However, these are very humbling and teachable moments—we are indeed sinners in need of God’s grace through the righteousness of Christ!